I don't usually arrange sex via text message
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Don't EVER smell your tampon
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
