I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Someone came in the potted fern
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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