Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
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