Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
