What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
