I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
