I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
