Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
