Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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