Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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