TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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