You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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