honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
