Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Last time i carry you out of a forest
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
