do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
