She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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