why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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