You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
