Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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