She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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