I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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