I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I cockslap morals
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
A+ Viking dick
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
