all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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