She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
