You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
