This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
