Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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