i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
