She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
