Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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