I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
