Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Couch. On fire.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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