and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
