We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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