morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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