No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
