Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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