i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Help. Why am I so naked?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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