it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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