he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
