There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
