There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
