When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
