Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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