Quick, to the slutcave!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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