How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
