Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
