im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
