After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
