Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
