Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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