there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
